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May 18, 2012

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846 – It is easier to just change clothes!

May 28, 2010 By 1 Comment

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“Rend your hearts not your your garments” Joel 2:13

Just a very quick thought for the weekend. This scripture above has really made me stop and think. The Lord has warned and implored the people through the prophet Joel to please change your hearts in repentance. It was customary in that day to just tear your clothes to signify one was mourning and in deep repentance and even fasting.
God can see through our fashion designs. He wants heart change!! Yes, there can be outward, visible changes made known to everyone, but God is most interested in a heart change.
How about you? Are you changing your outward appearance hoping your heart will follow – I can commend that, but that cannot be the extent of it. Or are you playing the game hoping no one will notice – even the Lord – your heart stinks even if you are all expressive on the outside!!
Lord, help us! Help us to be open to your work on our heart. Do the internal work so that there is an expression externally of Your greatness at work in our lives!! Lord, I cant wait to see this on me!!! I love you – Leigh
Wont be back until Monday or possibly Tuesday. Headed to a family reunion in Nashville, IN.
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Filed Under: divided heart, joel
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751 – A good heart???

August 24, 2009 By 6 Comments

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Sorry – this was to be posted on Friday, and that would have been 2 days late. Now it is Monday and it is really late!! Sorry – much sorry. Love to hear your thoughts! Thx

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Filed Under: 2 chron., book of Luke, divided heart
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717 – Radical Talk and followed up with obedience! Whole Heart Faith

April 30, 2009 By 14 Comments

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From the moment I posted the status on my Facebook about going for some radical obedience I have been in constant prayer.  I mean the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me at the most random and odd places.  Sitting down to hear from Him did not come so easily.  But it is that way many times with me or Him.  It is in the busyness of the day that God will stop me and speak a Truth, reveal a message title, confirm a question, or even explain my confusion!  He is so great to deal with me the way He made me!  I so appreciate that, Father!  (Side note: this does not mean that I don’t think I have to sit and listen to Him on separate occasions.  Oh yes oh yes!!  I still feel that He commands me daily to come and be at rest at His feet in worship and in confession whether I hear from Him and especially feel Him.)  

So what do I think all this means……..  how long do you have?  Here are the phrases that He has given me that I have begun to put together for complete obedience in my life……..
Consumes your thoughts
Why do you go to just the borderline?
Idol worship can’t be with me
Simple is too hard
Complex is easy faith
You have no control
Let me in today
sisters and brothers lifted me up in caffeine
This all started when I posted the fact that I was giving up caffeine for (hopefully) ever!  I was practically overwhelmed with the friends praying for me in this event and especially for those that checked in on my for DAYS!  I am indebted to you all.  This was just such a simple thing in my life – even though there was pain involved – and many of you took the time to say a prayer for me and to strengthen me along the way.  I truly attribute your faithfulness in praying and honest accountability to my kicking this particular demon in my life.  Now you may be thinking the word DEMON is a little harsh, but anything that can change my attitude and responses to people in a negative way because I have NOT had it – that is a demon in my book.   In that process the Lord reminded me that HE was the one to make the difference in my reactions and responses to people.  He was the one to conquer those demons and idols in my life.  It was something in my life that I was having a hard time living without = IDOL!  
I began to think about more of the simple things in my life – things that are simple in theory, but seem to consume my thoughts.  Why is it in our own lives – or I should say – in MY life – that I can feel safe with the Lord in bringing Him the huge, big things for Him to take care of, but it is those tiny, simple things that I feel like could never be changed.  Oh no, I would never utter those words, but it is exactly what my actions would say!  Do I think He is not big enough for the small things?  
That is when the words – complex is easy faith – please know this is for my life……….. I am not trying to say the hard things in your life are easy faith for you – for me!!!!!!!!!!!  What I am trying to say is when I am given a huge task or a huge dilemma or someone else has asked me to pray about something that I have absolutely no control over at all – it is easy for me to pray about it and be done.  I know that I can do nothing other than the privilege of praying for them and so it is done.  I keep praying and believing that God is in control and is the one that will make the difference.  For me it is what I call easy faith – I have to leave it with Him because I can’t do a thing!   
Another phrase – Why do you go to the borderline – set a higher standard!  In medicine doctors seem to not get all up in arms about things even if you go over the borderline.  I mean our blood pressure is suppose to be 120/80.  You can even be 125/85 and a doctor kind of shrug his shoulders that you should be pretty good.  Or your sugar is right at the borderline and it seems to be ok.  I know this is a silly example that might not be holding much water because there are so many other factors in determining ones health, but the point is that why do we just accept hanging out at the borderline.  I think God calls us to a higher standard.  I think God call us to perfection even though it is something we will not attain, but are working out our salvation to the image of Christ so that we shine like His little stars!  (Phil. 2:12-14)
Back to the simple!!!  It is those little things that consume me.  For me – I think about food and my weight more than anything else in the whole day.  Breakfast I think about lunch, lunch I think about dinner.  Dinner I think if there is anything sweet for me to eat next.  It is an idol.  It is a little thing because I really only have about 15 or 20 pounds to lose, but it consumes me.  I mean ALL THE TIME!!!!!!  I know I may not look that overweight – but yall I am practically 6 foot tall!  If i were even 4 inches shorter my sin would be more obvious.  But more than anything this is a heart condition.  This is a simple thing that I don’t have the faith to believe He can make a difference.  Do you ever feel the same way – not about weight – but whatever it is the Lord has laid upon your heart?  
I feel like the Lord has led me to confess this to whomever may be reading to seek that accountability – just like with the caffeine.  There are many, many steps that I have to go on to truly be walking with Him the way He desires for my life – and I want that to be my desire as well.  (Ps. 37:4) This food thing is just the first step.  There are many areas that I need to die in!  What about you????  What is it for you?  It does not have to do anything with food or the body!!!!!!  That is my thing!  
I am ready for a new heart and new actions!  I am ready to walk with Him in a way that I have never!  I am ready to believe Him in the simple things and the big things too.  I am ready to commit with a whole heart, rid myself of idols, and commit to Him – and serve Him only!!!!!  He will deliver us – me!!  The battles will come!  The enemy will still press on!  But I will set up an Ebenezer in honor of Him!  I am ready for my thoughts to be turned to Him.  
What is it for you?  What is it that He is asking you to rid yourself of?  What is it that consumes your thoughts?  What is your idol?  How can we do this so far apart???  This could be letting something go?  This could be starting something.  This could be anything – HE will tell you if HE has not already!!  

Does anyone know how to set up a linky thing?  We could name this Whole Heart Faith and have a button.  I don’t know how to do any of that – does anyone???  We could have a certain day each week that we check in and see how this Whole Heart Faith Walking is going for each of us.  I think it could be a huge step in Him setting hearts free!  Are you in?  
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Filed Under: 1 Samuel, divided heart, obedience, samuel, Whole Heart Faith
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711 – No Heart or Body!!

April 20, 2009 By 9 Comments

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Not sure what is up with my being so close to the computer this morning!!!  Hang with me!!  Love to hear from you!!!  How do you go thru the motions?  Is your heart always there?  Give me your way of getting out of the dry spell!!  Can’t wait to read what you do!!  Love, Leigh

UGH – eyes closed!!

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Filed Under: divided heart, Esther, mordecai
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659 – I Am Going Home

November 25, 2008 By 5 Comments

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I Am Going Home

I miss home. There is no other way to cut it, but I miss home. I miss having the conveniences of a big city. I miss having too many friends that I don’t know which one to call during the day. I miss my aerobic classes and workout center at my home church. I miss my kids having Christian education. I miss the long, long seasons of North Carolina. I miss not ever having to worry about losing a cell phone call because there is no tower. Again, I miss home.

No, I am not having a down moment or depressing time, I just miss home. I lived in Charlotte, NC for 12 years and it is the only place I call home. I have no family there, no distant relative, no house still there, and no bank account. But still I miss the place I call home.

In Charlotte every Thanksgiving, Clay and I would house anywhere from 5 to 10 kids from the Naval Academy. Most of these kids lived too far away from the Academy and had to go somewhere during the break. So a small group came to our house to stay during the night, but worked at Samaritan’s Purse for Operation Christmas Child during the day. Obviously these were extraordinary kids. Nevertheless, they missed home.

If there is one thing I do know in my 35 years of life it is that this is not my home. Even Charlotte, NC, the place I call home, is not my home. What we are living in now is not home. Our time here on this earth is but a fleeting moment in the whole scheme of things. Yes, many of us see only the here and now and I too can get very, very caught up in this here and now, but it truly is temporal.

He is preparing us a place. I think God gives us glimpses of our real home here on earth. When you go into a store and Christian music is playing. When you see others praying before a meal. When you see kids playing together without fussing. When you see a husband and wife still enjoying each other. When you see an honest person put others before himself. When you see the church as a whole praising together and worshipping our Savior. This I just a morsel of what the real home will be.

The thing I am most excited about, of course other than seeing my Jesus, is being completely understood. There will be no more – She has gone off the deep end. No more – Can she just chill out for a bit? No more – Isn’t she just precious. No more – Why must you be so different? No more – Do you have to be so devoted? And certainly no more – Do you have to be so serious… your kids might catch on?

We are all going home one day. Where will you call home? “But store up for yourself treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matt. 6:20-21

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Filed Under: divided heart, heaven, home, Matthew
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517 – Joy, just because!

January 15, 2008 By 2 Comments

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Dear Lord! What a gorgeously cold day. I am trying to be very positive, but it IS sun shining, but it is about 25 degrees. I think it is about up to 40 now, but that is only in the sun!! Thank you for the sun. We are suppose to get a few sprinkles of snow on Thursday – Lord, give us a blizzard. I love nothing more than being snowed in with the kids and drinking hot chocolate all day!! Oh – I love it!!! They say we are suppose to be down to single digits next week! Yikes!

Lord, I see you doing things in my life almost everyday that are only happening because of you. As much as i see you making me more and more like You, I know obviously first hand how much further I have to go. Not that it will ever be obtained here on this earth, but still I know I am not where I used to be. Praise you!!

Living a ‘die to self’ life is very, very challenging to say the least. I so desire to think about something and just have thoughts of how it can make you famous and not uplift Leigh. I have dreams of being excited to worship you and not need anything or anyone to do it with. I hope for the day of getting excited to meet with you and not ask anything of You! I long for a pure heart, pure motives, pure intentions, etc. No matter how sweet comments are from people all over the world I still know me and know how far I have to go. And please let be honest for one second and say that having that thought in and of itself is a God-thing! Like I mentioned before about my days in college and thinking because I had read the New Testament there was just a few more things to know about the Bible. Pride can certainly have a spot in my thought processes! You know that person or comic of the person saying no – please stop all the accolades with one hand and then with the other hand they are saying, yes, keep them coming – kind of like go, go, go and stop, stop, stop all at the same time. I want to be a stop stop stop girl all the time!

I want to fall face down and worship the Lord just because. Not because He did this or that for me, but because He is God! I want to be filled with joy on the worst days because of who He is and not because I ought to. I want to be overwhelmed with thoughts of my Savior because of the sacrifice He did for me, not because of the sacrifice He might have called me to. I want my thoughts to be all about Him and nothing else!! Less of me, Lord, please!!! Much less!! Regardless of any circumstances, I choose Joy!!!

I was brought to Leviticus 9:24 today. From what I understand Aaron has just been ordained and the priests are beginning their ministry. They had made all the right preparations, all the right sacrifices, and all the right droppings here and there – blood, fat, oil, etc. This were very normal things that they did often to see the presence of the Lord. Then verse 24 says, “Fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed the burnt offering and the fat portions on the alter. And when all the people saw it, they shouted for joy and fell facedown.” In I Kings 18:39 we see the same thing happening – “When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The Lord – He is God! The Lord – He is God.” Regardless of the circumstances, trouble, pending wars, whatever it may have been, God showed up and they were moved to get on their face!! That is what I want – that is what I want my heart to be like.

Lord Jesus – I want to see your power, your presence, your breath – anything about You and fall facedown. I don’t want a cool engagement or a book deal or a financial break to have reason to praise you – I want to do it just because You are there – always in my life – and when I see you I just praise!! I fall facedown and am filed with Joy like in verse 24 of Leviticus. I love you, Lord!

I have a new conviction that could affect some of you – friends, family, blog lurkers, etc. I have made a commitment to stay off email and the blog world on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I mean as far as reading all the other blogs, etc. I will still be posting my own quiet time thoughts and prayers, but just not going to blog after blog to see everyone else. Tuesdays are laundry day (I only do laundry on 1 day a week.) and Thursdays are catch up before the weekend! So if you need me on those days, please call. If you have ever gotten an email from me then you have my cell number or just wait till the next day to hear from me. Thank you – Just because He said so!

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Filed Under: divided heart, joy, leviticus, worship
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512 – New Year’s Resolutions – Tift

January 10, 2008 By 4 Comments

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Dear Lord, you know the plans I have for today and I commit them to you. I have an important meeting this morning and I have some others things as well that are important to me. Lord, give me wisdom and solid thoughts. Give me confidence and gentle boldness. Give me patience and much, much love!! Thank you in advance for taking care of things!

Lord, I have tift or is it a rift…… anyway… with myself and other things I have been reading. I decided to not verbally say or make any new years resolutions and all over the web I saw the same things from many of the fellow Christian bloggers. I saw things like – I am not going to make any kind of resolution this year. I am just going to pursue Godliness or Grace or Righteousness, etc. I thought or maybe even said the same thing. I guess there are several reasons for that. 1) Don’t want everyone to know I have failed again. 2) Don’t want to be like everyone else. 3) Don’t want to make promises that I can not keep again. 4) Think it is hokey and just a silly thing anyway. My list could go on and on. But then again I vowed probably just to myself that I did want to resolve to pray more and more diligent about my Bible studying. That is noble and a good thing – many bloggers had the same idea or convictions…

So what is my problem. I am willing to commit to do or be better at what God is obviously in or is about, but those things that I have to invite Him into I am not willing to commit. Lord Jesus, this is what I feel you saying to my heart……….God is all about me praying, God is all about me studying His Word – those are givens and frankly I don’t think I could ever actually reach the mark or my goal at being a proficient prayer(er) or knowing all the Word let alone in one year. When I do become proficient or know all the Word I think He will just take me home. But those other things such as losing weight, diminishing my computer time, getting an accountability group together, getting my ministry and office organized and stay organized, staying on a budget, etc………. Those are all things that God is “in”, but it is not so obvious because we have to take Him there in sort of a way.

Here is my point I feel the Lord convicting me about. If we want to see change in our lives we have to commit it to Him. Doing things on our own will never work. We have to bring God into every single area of our lives. He has to be in our weight loss. He has to be in our financial pursuits. He has to be in our thoughts of organization. He has to be in it all. And He is. Since He is living inside of me – I am the temple of the Holy Spirit I Cor. 6:19 – I am taking Him everywhere and in everything. He is there when I am able to not indulge and yet He is quenched when I blow it and eat too much! He is there when I think I have to have that skirt (or rather baseball cap for me), but know better. My Lord and Savior is begging me to take Him into every area of my life. He wants to be in more than my prayer closet, He wants me to take Him into my kitchen, into my workout room (if i had one), into my clothes closet, into my purse, etc. He wants and will have access into every area of my life – especially my thoughts!

Lord, what is it that I am afraid of? Am i afraid that I won’t please you? Am i afraid that I won’t be accepted after failure? Am I afraid that someone will actually hold me accountable? Am I afraid to be vulnerable to the World Wide Web? What is it Lord? Vulnerability has never been an issue for I don’t think. I am what I am and am not too much on hiding. Many, many other things are my issue, but that is not one that I see at this time. I have a good friend that is being called by the Lord to expose all this year – be completely vulnerable at all costs. It is beautiful! I am shocked at how many people deal with this issue. I had no idea! But for me – and Lord, help me to be vulnerable here – I just don’t take the Lord into enough areas of my life. If i did I think I would have more self-control when I sat down to eat. I would have more self-control when I am talking among friends. I would be able to walk away from a killer sale that says I have got to have one more black pair of pants. I would have more discipline about my computer time. I would not worship any others gods is what it boils down to!!

So Lord, there it is. I want to live the victorious life. I want to be committed to everything you have called me to. I want to hear your voice in every area of my life. I want you to have full reign over me in everything , i mean everything! I want to be skinny, I want to be organized, I want to be a prayer warrior, I want to be in an accountability group, I want to be financially responsible…………….. I want you, Lord!!! I want you to have your way with me! I want it all – what you have for me. I know that I can not and will not be faithful in any of these ares without your help, guidance, push, discipline, and moment by moment involvement in my life!! I want to feel your breath……… always. Thank you for this or rather these convictions Lord. Forgive me for not taking you with me in all areas of my life. Forgive me for thinking or at least by my actions saying I can do it on my own. Forgive me for my pride and forgive me for not believing You! Lord, here we go! Off to another victoriously living day!! Victory in Jesus!

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Filed Under: 1 Cor., believing, commitments, divided heart, idol, victory, Your will
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235 – Lots on My Heart

January 31, 2007 By Leave a Comment

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Lord Jesus – Good morning. Thank you for Clay getting home safely and for a restful night. The kids had practice, but I stayed home with the younger ones. It was great just sitting around watching American Idol and House. The shows come on 1 hour earlier here and that just really messes me up. The kids are up for AI and then It is hard to put them to bed properly before House gets going. I know silly!!!

I went yesterday to get my drivers license and you have to have all but your first born with you and take a test. Oh goodness. I didn’t pass that thing the first time i took it in high school (no drivers training though), how will i pass it this time!

There are so many things on my heart that I want to do, but just don’t know where to start or how to do them or even if I should embark. Father, I need You to speak clearly so that I can understand Your leading. Many of them have to do with women’s ministry around here, but yet I don’t have a church that I am solidly connected to just yet. Many of the things I am interested in are more global, but yet I feel like my feet need to be planted first. Lord, lead us in that area.

I studied Saul again and his jealousy. I Sam. 18:17-30. This is where he was trying to play as a distraction to David and hopefully get him killed. He even got one of his daughters to marry him, luckily she was in love with him, thinking that the Philistines would want to kill him more if he was the king’s son in law. The scripture does not say much about David. I would love to hear his thoughts about a mad man chasing him around and all he was dealing with. It really just concentrates on the irrationality of Saul and how jealousy totally consumes him and eventually destroys him. Again and again it states that the Lord was with David. Lord be very evident in my life as to appear different and of course act differently.

Father, You are so holy and are made to worship. So as i close out my time and am about to begin a new day, I pray that I can worship You all day. Lord, I want to live by Your leadings and complete the calling You have on my life. I want to make Your name famous and somehow forget all my desires. I want the world to know what a changed life You have given me and how Your peace is better than a million dollars. I don’t know what a million dollars is like, but I know You would be better. Lord Jesus, even if I don’t cry out about Your faithfulness and righteousness, the rocks will. Lord, may I be one that You can trust in and remain faithful. Lord, as i train my kids allow them to know You, I mean really know You. I want to do better at being with them when i am there. I know You never even turn to glance in another direction when I am praying. I have Your full attention and I want to give that to my kids more often. Make my encouragements to Clay what he needs and for Your glory. May I learn to do things that bring You honor and me nothing. May i be happy for those that are doing different things than me and truly understand it is bringing others closer to You! I want to see Your plans, but more than anything I want to see Your glory!!! Fill me now and allow me to live in You! I love you!!

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Filed Under: David, divided heart, jealousy, ministry, samuel, Saul
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222 – To Please the People

January 17, 2007 By 1 Comment

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Heavenly Father, this morning i come to you with a bit of discouragement. My son did it again……. he called home sick when there was not one thing wrong with him. We had a great night planned of friends coming over to eat and then going to the grade school basketball game and it was all ruined. I am not so sad about not getting to do all that as i am that he lied and pulled this trick again. UGH!!!!! Tucker is very intense and so while he may not be physically sick, there is something going on in his mind. I asked his teacher if there was a test or if he had gotten embarrassed in class or just anyhing to help me understand. As of right now i still don’t know any explanation other than just not wanting to ride the bus home… I knew as soon as i walked in the school to get him he was not sick. He gave me a half smile and was eating an iced cookie. I could have snatched him bald-headed!!! Tucker sat is his room the rest of the day and evening. He got to come out for dinner, but then went right back in his room. I wil say praise You, Lord. I had just prayed yesterday about our relationship and how i react. You did allow me to keep my cool and just deliver the consequences without any obvious anger. Thank you. He may not have passed his test, but I think I was victorious – thank YOU>

One the biggest things that i struggle with is people pleasing. I want to make all those around me happy and I want to make those that i love the most happy and proud. The conflict arises when parties have 2 different ideas for my life or 2 different requests or 2 different of anything. It puts me in a tailspin or at very least a pickle. In I Samuel 10:17-27 we see how Saul reacted in a positive way to those that are opposing him or are not in agreement with his newly appointed position. By positive i mean, he didn’t really react at all. Saul was just crowned king and most of the people were pleased with this decision. But the scripture says in verse 27 that some troublemakers doubted his abilities and despised him. The final victory for Saul was the last sentence in that verse, “But Saul kept silent.”

As a leader at different times in my life, i certainly have been the one that has not always been liked or has been the one that did not please everyone. For a people pleaser like me that can absolutely eat you up. I begin to dwell on what i have done to the person or how i can win them over later or what i can possibly do to change their mind. Instead of focusing on what the Lord would have in my life and continuing serving those that i have been in leadership over, i can get consumed with those that don’t like me or are not pleased with me. It requires so much energy from me and is actually handicapping – i think that can be a word, well at least today.

On top of being a people pleaser i am also non confrontational. So while the dislike of me by someone else is consuming every one of my breaths, i don’t want to talk about it with the person. How incredibly insane is that!!! Ugh!!! I hate it. Lord, i know that i can not please everyone and i know that i can not make everyone happy. Lord Jesus, help me to rest in Your convictions for my life and what You are requiring of me. Help me to not be consumed by thoughts of winning over the one that can never really “cross over”, so to speak. I ultimately need more self-control. Self-control to not immediately run to those opposing me to try to win favor. Self-control to not let my mind run rampant with insecurities. Self-control to not speak out and try to prove my case, cause, or point. Self-control to keep my mouth shut and be silently strong and confident allowing You to shine and come through proving Your point!!!

I love you Jesus. I want Your favor, I want Your confidence, I want Your strength, and I want Your pleasure over me. Good and Faithful servant – I live my life to hear those words someday!

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Filed Under: divided heart, people pleasing, samuel, Saul
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Rituals of the Heart? – 203

December 14, 2006 By Leave a Comment

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Lord Jesus – i have to admit i am a bit stressed. I still have quite a bit to do and not a lot of time left. Mom and Dad have graciously accepted my plea to take the kids on Tuesday of next week so that i can come back here and pack the rest of the house and then clean once it is all picked up. Lord, i am still praying, but not always believing that you will get us a contract on the house before next Friday. I think in my heart so often what good is it if i don’t always believe, but as the man in Mark (chapter 6 or 9, i can’t remember right off hand) said, “I do believe, but Lord, help my unbelief.” That is the way i feel as we get deeper and deeper into the remaining days. Please Lord, if you so see fit, sell our house. Thank you.

This morning in Hosea, chpt. 8, a couple thoughts from verses caught my attention. In verse 5 God is explaining to them that He can not bless a nation that worships calves. And my first thought was well how stupid of them to worship a statue, something that is not even real and can not move. How weird and why… But then as i was thinking i could feel You tug on my heart and asked me to think about the things we worship as idols. Some are real and alive, but others are not. We worship cars, houses, clothes, celebrities, schools, preachers, ministers, speakers, computers, ipods, etc. Really the list can go on and on. An idol is anything that replaces God for whatever reason and keep our worship from the one true God. We allow our material things – ME INCLUDED – to try to bring us peace, bring us fame, bring us contentment, etc.

I was talking about my living here in Charlotte and having it all. It was almost like living in Charlotte was no risk. Clay’s old business would most likely continue to do well and we would just keep on doing life, ministry, and having lots of things. Easy – in some sorts. But living in Norris City is going to look very different. There is some risk, not so much risk going to that place because it seems full of much safety in a worldly sense – small town, low crime, nice school, nice people, etc. – but the risk is leaving it all behind. My friend was asking me very pointedly – Why, why would you do that Leigh? It felt so good to say, “those things don’t matter. I have had it all and it is nice to have it all, and it is not that i will be without in my new town, but that it won’t be a necessity like it feels here. I had a choice and still have a choice to be simple here in Charlotte and go to what i think i am heading for in Illinois, but that is not the point. There is a greater purpose than just getting my life back to simple in any location. Simpler life is our next chapter in life and that sounds really exciting to me. Not boring, but simple. Casting down the idols and i would be remiss not to mention the blessings as well, in my life and laying at His feet. Will He “provide a ram” and give it all back? I don’t think so and i really don’t want any of it back. I want what He has prepared and that will be better and perfect and peaceful!

Then in verse 13 God is telling them their sacrifices are not acceptable because there is not heart. Oh Lord, i have seen that in my own life from time to time – not heart, just ritual. It is so ugly and so binding. There is not boundless joy and peace. There are times we must continue through the process and steps to regain that heart. We might change up how we do our quiet time or the time we attend church or a different SS class, but we continue on in the practices. We continue being faithful to our righteousness and pray for our heart to return. He will honor us not giving up and seeking Him earnestly even though we don’t “feel” it. But really what God doesn’t want is for me to just do something, even my quiet time, if i am just seeking to check it off my list. This is no different than anything else – it is all about the motivation. Doing something to check it off a list or to seek another’s approval and doing it out of obedience and love and worship.

There is a fine line there and i am not sure when it is crossed. But i think too often people will just no go to church anymore or meet with the Lord or whatever it is because they don’t “feel” it anymore. God must have left the places or the situations and so i am just going to sit out until He returns or i “feel” it again. Plus if my heart is not there then what good is it anyway. I think that is one of the most dangerous places to be. Satan loves it and will take no time like the present to bombard that person with more secret or unseen sin and temptations than ever. He has convince you to let your guard down, to hold off seeking Him, and now the real war starts. Oh it will be ugly and messy, and oh so damaging to more than just yourself.

Lord, all scenarios i have found myself in. Fun – no way, but then again, yes in the beginning. Lord, don’t let me fall prey again. Keep me close and help me to hold on even when i want to let go even for a short time. Thank you for your patience and love. Thank you for your acceptance and mercy. Thank you for your grace and accepting my worship. “May my life be as worship to you”! (Meredith Andrews) I love you, Lord, increase my love and belief!

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Filed Under: divided heart, Hosea, rituals
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