niiiiicccceeeee!
717 – Radical Talk and followed up with obedience! Whole Heart Faith
April 30, 2009 By 14 Comments
From the moment I posted the status on my Facebook about going for some radical obedience I have been in constant prayer. I mean the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me at the most random and odd places. Sitting down to hear from Him did not come so easily. But it is that way many times with me or Him. It is in the busyness of the day that God will stop me and speak a Truth, reveal a message title, confirm a question, or even explain my confusion! He is so great to deal with me the way He made me! I so appreciate that, Father! (Side note: this does not mean that I don’t think I have to sit and listen to Him on separate occasions. Oh yes oh yes!! I still feel that He commands me daily to come and be at rest at His feet in worship and in confession whether I hear from Him and especially feel Him.)
So what do I think all this means…….. how long do you have? Here are the phrases that He has given me that I have begun to put together for complete obedience in my life……..
Consumes your thoughts
Why do you go to just the borderline?
Idol worship can’t be with me
Simple is too hard
Complex is easy faith
You have no control
Let me in today
sisters and brothers lifted me up in caffeine
This all started when I posted the fact that I was giving up caffeine for (hopefully) ever! I was practically overwhelmed with the friends praying for me in this event and especially for those that checked in on my for DAYS! I am indebted to you all. This was just such a simple thing in my life – even though there was pain involved – and many of you took the time to say a prayer for me and to strengthen me along the way. I truly attribute your faithfulness in praying and honest accountability to my kicking this particular demon in my life. Now you may be thinking the word DEMON is a little harsh, but anything that can change my attitude and responses to people in a negative way because I have NOT had it – that is a demon in my book. In that process the Lord reminded me that HE was the one to make the difference in my reactions and responses to people. He was the one to conquer those demons and idols in my life. It was something in my life that I was having a hard time living without = IDOL!
I began to think about more of the simple things in my life – things that are simple in theory, but seem to consume my thoughts. Why is it in our own lives – or I should say – in MY life – that I can feel safe with the Lord in bringing Him the huge, big things for Him to take care of, but it is those tiny, simple things that I feel like could never be changed. Oh no, I would never utter those words, but it is exactly what my actions would say! Do I think He is not big enough for the small things?
That is when the words – complex is easy faith – please know this is for my life……….. I am not trying to say the hard things in your life are easy faith for you – for me!!!!!!!!!!! What I am trying to say is when I am given a huge task or a huge dilemma or someone else has asked me to pray about something that I have absolutely no control over at all – it is easy for me to pray about it and be done. I know that I can do nothing other than the privilege of praying for them and so it is done. I keep praying and believing that God is in control and is the one that will make the difference. For me it is what I call easy faith – I have to leave it with Him because I can’t do a thing!
Another phrase – Why do you go to the borderline – set a higher standard! In medicine doctors seem to not get all up in arms about things even if you go over the borderline. I mean our blood pressure is suppose to be 120/80. You can even be 125/85 and a doctor kind of shrug his shoulders that you should be pretty good. Or your sugar is right at the borderline and it seems to be ok. I know this is a silly example that might not be holding much water because there are so many other factors in determining ones health, but the point is that why do we just accept hanging out at the borderline. I think God calls us to a higher standard. I think God call us to perfection even though it is something we will not attain, but are working out our salvation to the image of Christ so that we shine like His little stars! (Phil. 2:12-14)
Back to the simple!!! It is those little things that consume me. For me – I think about food and my weight more than anything else in the whole day. Breakfast I think about lunch, lunch I think about dinner. Dinner I think if there is anything sweet for me to eat next. It is an idol. It is a little thing because I really only have about 15 or 20 pounds to lose, but it consumes me. I mean ALL THE TIME!!!!!! I know I may not look that overweight – but yall I am practically 6 foot tall! If i were even 4 inches shorter my sin would be more obvious. But more than anything this is a heart condition. This is a simple thing that I don’t have the faith to believe He can make a difference. Do you ever feel the same way – not about weight – but whatever it is the Lord has laid upon your heart?
I feel like the Lord has led me to confess this to whomever may be reading to seek that accountability – just like with the caffeine. There are many, many steps that I have to go on to truly be walking with Him the way He desires for my life – and I want that to be my desire as well. (Ps. 37:4) This food thing is just the first step. There are many areas that I need to die in! What about you???? What is it for you? It does not have to do anything with food or the body!!!!!! That is my thing!
I am ready for a new heart and new actions! I am ready to walk with Him in a way that I have never! I am ready to believe Him in the simple things and the big things too. I am ready to commit with a whole heart, rid myself of idols, and commit to Him – and serve Him only!!!!! He will deliver us – me!! The battles will come! The enemy will still press on! But I will set up an Ebenezer in honor of Him! I am ready for my thoughts to be turned to Him.
What is it for you? What is it that He is asking you to rid yourself of? What is it that consumes your thoughts? What is your idol? How can we do this so far apart??? This could be letting something go? This could be starting something. This could be anything – HE will tell you if HE has not already!!
Does anyone know how to set up a linky thing? We could name this Whole Heart Faith and have a button. I don’t know how to do any of that – does anyone??? We could have a certain day each week that we check in and see how this Whole Heart Faith Walking is going for each of us. I think it could be a huge step in Him setting hearts free! Are you in?
344 – Worthy is the Lamb
May 28, 2007 By 1 Comment
This is one of my favorite praise songs EVER! (If anyone from my church reads this, don’t you know our piano player could belt this out so beautifully!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have got to figure out her name.)
This morning I found myself in Jer. 33:22 – “I will make the descendants of David my servant and the Levites who minister before me as countless as the stars of the sky and as measureless as the sand on the seashore.’ ” My current devotion on David ended with the promise of more to come. Jesus – He is more than enough. Oh Lord, if i am honest I get myself into such a pickle of feelings because I don’t understand nor comprehend your majesty or holiness or awesomeness. I am so excited to worship you forever, be in your presence, bow before the throne and meet everyone else in heaven, but then I struggle with all the things yet I have not done here on Earth. Like being a Grandma, seeing the kids get married and grown, living old and gray with Clay, seeing what else God’s has for me in ministry, etc… I guess that is the flesh and not truly understanding how menial those things are compared to His greatness and sitting at the throne!
This verse this morning is a promise. It is promise of more Kings that the Lord anoints and appoints will sit on the throne and THE King is coming to be the final ruler. Can you imagine that?? Lord Jesus, how different the world will be when you are sitting in Jerusalem. Oh how different I will be. Worthy is the Lamb. High and lifted up – the Darling of Heaven!! Oh Lord, allow me to grasp just a small part of your holiness and specialness. Allow my heart to overflow with the Joy of Jesus and serving you. Allow me to more often turn from my sin and give all back to you. Allow me to not think so much of my needs, but think of what You might want from me. Oh Lord, let me fall in love with you!!
One thing I need to remember is that You are still sitting on the throne in heaven. When there are things I am going through – it is not a surprise to You. You are well aware and full aware! Oh Father I have a situation in my life where I need big time wisdom and patience. I don’t know how to react and I am not sure what to do. I need wisdom and wise counsel. I don’t need to make mistakes in this situation, and need to follow You will. Oh Lord, help me. Nevertheless You reign and You are holy, trustworthy and WORTH – Worthy is the Lamb. Still deserving of all my praise and adoration!! You are it and I want to know more of you!! I love you!
Today is my church’s free Memorial Day Celebration. It is going to be great – as long as the rain holds off. Oh please Lord, just a few hours. Going to be rides, tons of food, face painting – all kinds of things. A band, music, etc!!!!!!!!!!!!! and all free!! Starts at noon – come on down!
I got all my Believing God studies on Saturday. I am sooooooooo excited. Going to be great! If you still want to come and have not told me – come on. 8pm on Thursday, mi casa!
Jesus – thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for your righteousness. thank you for your perfectness. thank you for everything. Worthy is the Lamb. Help my concerned heart!
340 – David’s Last Words + Update
May 25, 2007 By Leave a Comment
Lord Jesus – wow what a day yesterday. My vet called and asked about Lu Lu yesterday morning and I told him she was still doing that hacking thing kind of like trying to throw up. He wanted to see as soon as i could get 4 kids dressed since there was no school and get there. Kids looked cute, i was a wreck – ball cap, workout clothes that were probably stinky, but that is life. So He took her temp and basically my dog, new dog, precious dog, Lu Lu has a inflamed throat – kind of like strep throat – aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeee – I want to run and hide!!! So he gave her a shot in her NECK and she is also on an antibiotic. Nice!!!!
I am not sure if any readers check the Prayer Request blog connected with this site – if not go there. But the lady that bought my house in Charlotte contacted me about liking everything and all that. So we have been emailing back and forth. She emailed yesterday to tell me about someone in her life that had a growth and of course they were scared. So this is when i forwarded it Valarie, Prayer Request Coordinator, to lift this one up. If there is such a thing as someone having a direct line to the Lord, or at least others having a closer lean to HIS ear – Valarie does. (IF YOU EVER NEED US TO PRAY FOR YOU, PLEASE LET US KNOW. VALARIE WILL DO IT AND THINGS WILL HAPPEN. I HAVE THAT MUCH CONFIDENCE IN HER PRAYER LIFE!! WONDERFUL WOMAN!) Donna, the lady that bought my house, emailed this morning to say that the cyst was benign and praising the Lord. Can you believe the way the Lord has connected us through the internet………… amazing!!
Things with the Believing God series are really coming together – Praise you, Lord. I was concerned to say the least and now it is looking great. I am excited by all the churches that will be represented at my house. It is a dream or vision YOU are bringing into fruition. I have always called it the Nehemiah Mission. The CHURCH of our Lord is coming together to pray and lift up one another and of course lift Him up. Oh I can hardly wait. Next Thursday is the day!
Did I tell you Farmer Gray – that would be me – got a truck and that the garden is doing well. Yes, that is right, for the most part, i drive a truck. I have always called the suburban a truck, but now we have a real truck!! It is gray and has the doors that open both ways. All 6 of us fit in it. It is fun, but not for a long ride!!! Kids can touch too much! Get this – it has no CD player or even tape player. Doesn’t have electric windows or anything. Basic to say the least. We got it from an old farmer. It even has plastic or rubber floor boards so I can literally hose it out……… Oh, you should have seen the boy at McDonald’s as i was rolling down the window. I don’t think he had ever seen someone self-roll a window down. I just smiled real big!!! ha ha ha ha!
My son did a fantastic job in his game on Wednesday. Really the whole team did wonderful. Good group of kids, very talented. Tucker closed out the game pitching. A girl did come up to bat and i must admit i was panicked. I didn’t want a “girl” to get a hit off him. (Can you sense just a tad how competitive I am.) I wanted him to save face – I really didn’t want just her not hitting off him, I wanted a strike out. I mean, I am terrible!! Strike 1, 2, 3 – she was out. Momma breath a sign of relief. Oh I was so proud!!! I love baseball and him pitching.
I just found out our little newspaper in town is getting moved in who it is run by. I was all set up to start a column in it about parenting, but now that may be all squooshed. I don’t know! I am a little sad. I have to speak at my in laws home church on June 10th. I am sooooo scared. It is a small Methodist church and I am filling in for the pastor. WHAT – i know crazy. I was not sure i was going to do it. I do not preach – hear me – i do not preach. I speak encouraging words and hopefully inspiring words to bring others closer to Him, NOT PREACH!!! I really contemplated on whether doing this or not. I prayed and prayed and sought much counsel. All lights were green and so i agreed. I am not sure i have ever been so nervous other than speaking in front of all my aunts and cousins, mom, and friends one night. This is tough!!!
My friend Tamy Davidson left for Brazil on a mission medical trip yesterday or actually the wee hours this morning!! Oh Lord, give them great experiences and many, many receptive to the call of Christ!!! What a precious servant!
So – now that all that update is finished – phewwwwwwwww – that was exhausting and no one may even care. I just like to make sure when I am old and gray i can look back at things HE was doing. So this morning i was in the end of I Chron. David has died and Solomon is blessed and reigning greatly as his father did. Legacy continues on. You know it reminds me of what we as women of God could be in store for. Beth Moore’s youngest daughter, the one that is suppose to be a replica of her, just finished a rigorous degree from Moody Bible College. She received her masters. She is an incredible writer and I would think great deliverer. Oh, I think we as women as in for more great years from the Moore family. Who knows, He knows!
Scholars say Ps. 71 is one of David’s last writings. The other day i was discussing with a friend about how we know if God is testing us through a trial or if Satan has been allowed to “get” at us or all of the above. I said the bottom line to it all – our reaction. It doesn’t really matter in the long run from who the trial or struggle or hard time is coming, but how we react to it and what we do with it. That reaction may be the true test and the struggle is just a stimulus. (Holy cow, i think i just used a science word from college psychology classes!!) Anyway listen to this scripture……………
“Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, God is like you? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.” See that word in italics -made – it is translated Ra ah meaning “to understand intellectually, to ascertain, to perceive or examine, to discover, to experience. I think of it this way – it is not important to understand or perceive how trouble came our way – as if we can do things differently and they will never come. It is important that i ascertain, discover, experience the lesson He may be trying to teach me through the struggles, hard times, etc. It is my reaction that can lead me to listening, being still, submitting, etc. can the understanding comes or it can be my fits, grumpiness, impure thoughts, sour attitude that keep me from perceiving and experiencing. Oh man – this is a good lesson He is giving me. Thank you, Lord.
So that is about all I can live with today. Good and bad both come filtered through His hands. Satan can not mess with us without permission from the Father – keep that in mind!! Oh Lord, how precious and wonderful you are. You want me to learn lessons and become more wise not just go through life doing life. Lord, open my ears and eyes to see, hear, and learn – perceive!!! Help me Father – You have much work to do. I love you!
Off to get my eyebrows peeled off my face and some lip hair – ugh!!!!!!!!! i cry every time!! Got end of school parties and SJ K-5 screening. Hopefully an easy weekend – yeah right!
338 – On Our Face
May 23, 2007 By 2 Comments
Lord Jesus – in 1 Chron. 29:10-20. This is where David is praying together with the nation of Israel – how did they do that without microphones…………but then again, how in the world did they build even half of all they did back then. But anyhow – verses 10-13 is what I call the Crown Ministries verses. It is about everything being God’s and everything we have comes from Him and we just need to live with open hands allowing Him to take and give constantly. Hold tightly to nothing, but our salvation! I have never done that program or whatever you might call it, but I have heard a ton of great things about it.
Then David, still the king, goes on to just praise the Lord and lead the whole nation in a time of worship. I know most people can probably imagine that – but to have a preacher or leader for that matter lead everyone in a time of worship. I am not talking about just praise music and a prayer – David and his people got down prostrate, on the ground!!!, and worshipped. Holy cow, i think that is awesome. I have seen my preachers in the past worship and pray – but never to the point of getting on the floor or actually being very “visible” in their worship – I have never gone to a church where worship was much more than singing. What I mean, is my old church worshipped and the music was incredible – they had it all as far as equipment, etc, but as far as seeing a minister lift their hands or anything remotely close to that – didn’t happen. I am not slamming them at all – just a southern baptist church with much tradition and they just hadn’t gotten there just yet. I am sure it has changed even from the time I have moved.
If you have read this blog for any amount of time you know that I think the world of my current pastor and his wife – awesome people and lovers of the Lord, big time! Our church is short a worship minister and so our preacher, Chad, leads that as well. It is so special and maybe if we did have someone I wouldn’t know this about Chad, but it is so special to see him worship. He is a huge 6’8 dude that is not scared to raise his hands, bow down, Praise, Praise, Praise – it is so beautiful! And his awesome wife happens to be about 6’1 – yep, tall kids – not afraid to worship as well. My whole point about this is………………..when leadership is willing to let it all go and just be a worshipper as if it were just Jesus and them, it can lead to unexplainable revival because of the effect on those around! I am not accustomed to raising my hands, never spoke in tongues, or even bowed while others are standing – and I know most of this is because I have never let myself go there – held back – but, didn’t see it from my leadership and so…………. But now at my new church – they have taught me how to worship. And the leadership participates. I don’t understand everything, but I know they really love Jesus and are seeking Him. The worship time is just an expression of their devotion and love!! It is beautiful! (Side note: I am not saying you have to “do” anything to wroship. Some people can just stand or sit and really praise. But I am just talking about what this scripture specifically says about getting prostrate, etc.)
The nation of Israel is taking their cue from the king, their leader. Oh how awesome would it be for President Bush to do something like that – i guess on TV or something. David was not a young thing at this point and as you recall he was not in the greatest of health. But it did not stop him. I assume he knew if others were going to follow, he could not just talk it – he had to do it!
This is speaking volumes to me once again about parenting. I can not just tell my kids to pray. I can not just tell my kids to worship. I can not just tell my kids to spread the Word. I can not just tell my kids to be nice. I can not just tell my kids to have faith!!!!!!!! I must show them!! David is imploring Solomon once again in this prayer to have wholehearted devotion – once again means uncut, undivided, unswerving – all for Him and none other! He also says of the whole nation in prayer – “God keep this desire and keep their hearts loyal to You.” Oh Lord, yes that is it. Give, develop, grow a desire in my kids to love and be devoted to you above all else. May they be loyal to Your Word and Your calling on their lives. And Lord, as i do so often – keep me out of the way, don’t let my desires and plans disturb what You got going on! That is hard and I am not sure I even understand the magnitude of that statement! But as of right now – I mean it with all my heart!
Lord, we have Tucker’s first baseball scrimmage tonight – Clay is so sad he can not be there. Give Tucker precision with pitching and quick arms in batting. May his mind be in the game and ready to respond when the ball comes his way. I am going to the school to sale purses. I am just excited to be at the school and get to know everyone better and to make a few sales would be great too. Lu Lu, I think is sick. She keeps acting like she need to throw up or at least there might be something in her throat. She gagged all night and will not eat this morning. I guess we will take her back. She was fine yesterday, but when we came home from Courtney’s is when i noticed she was not acting right. And Jesus – we are having such a time with SJ. She is constantly getting into trouble, getting into things, and just not behaving. What can I do with this specific child to make her understand – Lord, Help!!! I love you, Lord!
337 – Let’s Get Personal
May 22, 2007 By 5 Comments
Heavenly Father – what a beautiful morning. We have been sleeping with the windows up, had the windows up for some time now, and I just love hearing or being awakened by all the birds singing. Ok – maybe at 4:30 it is not so pleasant, but anytime after 5am i love it!!
This morning I am in 1 Chron. 29:1-10 – oh it is really good. David is telling more about all he has saved up for the temple building – to be built. It is a massive amount of stuff, well not stuff, but materials, jewels, gems – all kinds of building things. Then in verse 3 David explains that he is also giving of his personal treasure. Oh this is good. It reminds me of many different things. We give our tithe and that is like giving back part of what God provided us. But then God will spur us on from time to time to give above and beyond that – an offering. Something personal that might even hurt or at best take an increased faith especially if funds are not there. Or I remember a friend fasting, the Daniel fast, and then God told them to step it up beyond what others may be doing – take it personal.
I praise you Lord as you definitely gave to us, all mankind, more than we could have ever dreamed – and still do. But then you took it personal. You sent your very own son to die for us – now that is taking it personal. Oh Father – I just want to say thank you for such a sacrifice. I don’t think I go to the cross near enough. Thank you for the love, thank you for the grace, and thank you for showing us what it really means to die to self and give up all. Lord, have you called me to something personal and I just have not noticed or been willing. Speak to my heart and show me Lord. Show me the ways I have not “gone there” with you. Show me the areas that you are requiring more and where I may be stopping short of what you have in mind! Oh Lord, I want to be pleasing in your sight and I want to be obedient!! Oh, do your work, Lord.
The other quick thing that I love about this passage is in verse 9. “The people rejoiced at the willing response of their leaders”. Oh what a beautiful thing, but also a reminder. We are all leaders whether we want to or not. Some may be leading preschoolers, some are leading the world. But oh how important for those you are leading to see your sacrifices as well. Not in a bragging kind of way, but as example. I went to a church a few weeks ago in Kansas and this women’s group was using another church for their retreat. The pastor of that church – no relation to the ladies using the church – was there the whole time and unbelievable in his giving. He certainly did not have to, but he wanted to! Then at my church recently when i spoke there we had a dinner and everything. My own pastor and other men served us dinner – even high school boys. The other thing that was impressive was my very own pastor helped me set up my resource table – purses and such! Now that is giving and sacrificing to me. What does it make me want to do – rejoice, sure, but then give back and help as well. Our church has this huge Memorial Day thing coming up and Clay and I have really struggled with what we are suppose to be doing. Sure, easy to give a few dollars to help another buy food or whatnot, but getting in their with the hands and doing something I think is even more sacrificial!! Oh Lord, show us!!
Lu Lu got fixed yesterday. Poor thing – just laying around and so tired. Kids are on a school count down! I am ready for school to be out. Going to close totally on this house today. Got more baseball practice. Going to the school to sell more purses on Wednesday – I am really excited about this. Tucker has his first zit, but has no fingernails to actually pop it good. hee hee God is good, all the time – I am sure! I love you!
333 – 2nd Chances
May 18, 2007 By 3 Comments
Oh Lord, what a good quiet time this morning. 2nd chances – reason to shout! 1 Kings 1:32-48 we see Solomon being anointed and then actually sitting on the royal throne. David ends the day bowing to worship in his bed. He is too weak to get to the floor, which is his usual position of worship – so says the commentary – so he must worship in his bed. Love that.
But I have to think back for just a minute… David was not “the” choice for the king. He was young and small and the youngest of all these big brothers – just a shepherd boy. But that is who God wanted and that is how it was!!! Oh I just want to praise the Lord about that. I may not be the greatest or most perfect choice for many of the things He allows me to do, but He has His way. I may not be the most educated, may not be able to translate much Greek and Hebrew, may not even be related to a big spiritual name – you know connections help – I am not even the best dressed if that matters – but He still lets me do a thing or two. With David I know He saw a heart willing to go the distance, a heart wiling to say yes, a heart willing to admit the wrong, a heart willing to accept discipline, a heart willing to pursue the Lord with passion and abandonment, a heart willing to praise and go where no man has gone before. Oh Lord, that is the kind of heart I want. I want a heart searching after You in such a way that I have no desire but for you!!! Oh Lord, give me a second chance.
A second chance is what we see revealed in Solomon. I am sure there are some bitter people looking up the palace windows in the day and not understanding why God would allow a child of adultery to become the next king. I have to admit there are some people in ministry that I often wonder why God has given them such “success”. Oh how terrible and judgemental that is of me! Oh Lord forgive me. You have your ways and your purposes and they are always perfect and way beyond my reasoning! I thought it was neat that Solomon even rode in on a mule. No, not a donkey like our King, but it was not a stallion or huge chariot – just a mule. Could there be some foreshadowing of the coming King – I think so!!
God, Holy Father – you are so wonderfully awesome. Thank you for the second chances, third, and fourth, etc. Lord, take me and change my heart of bitterness. Change my heart of resentment. Change my heart of jealousy! Change my heart and make it more like you! Lord, I want to reflect your holiness, righteousness, loveliness – oh goodness the work needed to be done! Only You can make good of my sin and disgusting attitudes. Forgive me, Father – I repent and want to follow closer!!! Lord, I want Your will even if it is not what I am expecting or what I dream. Make my dreams Yours and let me follow after You with all my heart!!! I love you my Lord. I love Your ways!!! Help me to love you more.
Oh Lord, please allow there to be some ladies interested in the Beth Moore study. I just can not express to them how wonderfully awesome it will be… Lord, help me to not be disappointed or upset. I so want more women fellowship and digging into the Word together in Norris City. That is the number ONE thing i miss from Charlotte. Lord, help me to be patient. I love you!!
330 – In Shock & Stuff
May 17, 2007 By 4 Comments
I am random this morning – beware!
Can you believe it – Melinda Doolittle is gone………. Oh I am sad. I hope Jordan rides all the way home with the prize now that Melinda is gone. I think she is from a good family that has brought up a very thankful young girl. Now i will admit some of her tears do look a little forced when she is up their saying good-bye to her “friends”, but I still do love her voice and LOVE, LOVE seeing her live out a dream. Besides Melinda, I cry every time Jordan sings because I know her momma and daddy must be so proud.
I hardly could get out of bed this morning. We worked out our legs so hard yesterday at the Dale’s – great workout, but ouch!!!! Then I went running with my friend after school and could hardly be any good. Had to walk 2 times… Then Andrea called and we went running too. Wooooooooooohhhhhhhoooooooooooooooo – my legs hurt, but a good hurt. But I weighed in yesterday and have lost 10 pounds. Yippee skippee!! I hope I have not jinks myself! ha ha
My son came home telling me a teacher told him she wanted me to bring my purses up there at the end of school. How cool would that be. I have the book publishing and non-profit status to pay for real soon – so this could only help tremendously. That is kind of her to think of that for me. I have the money saved up for those 2 things, but it will pretty much deplete everything so that would help put a tad back in. PS- I got the cutest 2 new purses yesterday… I will post them later.
This morning I was in 1 Kings 1:1-31 – this is great, these are some different rules than we have today… The king, David, was feverish i guess and they couldn’t get him warmed up. So the scripture says that they went all across the land of Israel to find him a beautiful young woman that could keep the king warm. He is old and a young thang is suppose to keep him warm. I think i have heard it all now. Sounds a bit like the Anna Nicole thing… Anyway, it does say that he did not have “relations” with her, but neither did Clinton. My how history truly does repeat itself. Another dude has come to claim kingship since David is old, tied up in bed, and has not named another king successor. So Nathan tells Bathsheba she needs to go talk with David and let him know what is going down and remind David of the oath her spoke to her of Solomon becoming the next man in charge. Bathsheba walks in and the scripture even make mention of the lady “attending” the king and Bathsheba still bows. All i have to say is that it is a good thing I was not born in those days. There would be some cat fighting…
OK – back to being spiritual. My devotion asked me how I felt about growing old and all. That is a funny question. I don’t think about it that much unless I am thinking about time running out to minister and what else I could be doing. I did receive a Woman of Faith advertisement the other day and think – now do I really want to go to that? Anita Renfro looked like the youngest one and I pretty sure she is well into her forties. Is that old, no!!!!!!! In fact it is younger everyday, but their audience is quite young. So I thought the whole thing was very interesting. Their speakers are getting on up in age and wondered when they might want some new blood, but not necessarily youngest blood. I happened to raise my hand in my living room in case someone was listening in on my thoughts. Just being silly, but that would be a dream of mine. How fun and exciting! Those speakers have a bazillion times more knowledge and experience than i could ever give. God has His hand on them and has used them mightily for a good long time. He must be pleased! — I also read an article about Passion going to other countries. That kind of made me sad because it is such a phenomenon here in the states – a much needed thing. I totally trust the leadership of that organization and i am sure they are following the Lord, but why close up shop here. I am hearing from more and more college students on my blog. It is really cool – they love Jesus with much passion!!! Anyone want to start a different Passion while they are overseas?? Just another dream.
But the scripture message I received today was again about not quitting. David was old, “tied up in bed”, but still king. When he was presented a problem he quickly did all he could to make it right even from the bed. We know from the Bible and history that Solomon was the next king. David made sure of it. So even from my bed I hope that I am still able to do things for the kingdom to the very end. Lord, I hope you still find me useful to the end. I have been very random today… I guess that what happens when there is not a solid uninterrupted time with Him. Lord, help me to get out of bed and back to my 5:30am routine. I miss it… Discipline!! I don’t have a lot planned for today. We are going to have a ham and bean dinner which i am so excited about. We didn’t do that in Charlotte and I don’t really remember eating it growing up. We also have cooked cabbage – yep, Mom, even i am growing up and eating my vegetables. Keep speaking Lord and help me to open my ears!! I love Lord Jesus!
329 – Sacrifice for Free
May 16, 2007 By 4 Comments
Dear Lord, Good morning! It is a beautiful, cool, brisk morning – I wish i had gone running this morning before the day got going, but oh well. Last night at Plainview was amazing. There was a huge storm that ripped through the area and did a ton of damage. A few trees fell on cars parked in various locations. The power flickered many times. In the middle of speaking the power went off to the point that I thought it was going to stay off. It was kind of freaky – I don’t think my mic ever turned off – I still sounded “on”. Anyway, I delivered the Balanced Lifestyle message and think it went over well. I feel very, very comfortable in that church – lots of ladies i know briefly, but have always heard a ton about through the years. Great God-fearing people there!
So this morning I have come to the end of 2 Samuel. The devotional book is not done as I am sure we will have to go through David’s death and bury him as well. But we are getting close. Verse 24 of chapter 24 is a huge verse for me. “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the Lord my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.” Wow – what a statement. David has come to a point that God is punishing Israel for a reason that we as the reader really don’t know. There are many speculations, but to me the important part is that God does punish, reprimand, or discipline His children. I think we think He is so good that He could never get on to me. Or when we are going through something tough and unexplainable it has to be Satan messing with us instead of a result of our own disobedience. Isn’t it so much easier to blame someone else instead of “me”.
But in normal David fashion, he takes the blame and seeks the Lord for His people. He decides on a 3 day plague that kills 70,000 Israelites. At the end of the plague David seeks to build an alter and offer a sacrifice. The man tries to give him the land and materials for the sacrifice, but David says “No, what good is a sacrifice that costs me nothing.” Wow, that is amazing words. See this is the same place that according to the commentary that Abraham went to sacrifice Issac. This was a known spot for giving what is most precious in order for the Lord to move or have more of Him in your life.
Lord Jesus – how many times do I try to get something for free? I want to be blessed, but not go through the refining fire to get there. I want to be more like You, but yet not suffer in any of Your sufferings! Oh Jesus I am guilty of wanting more of You, but not wanting it to cost anything of me. What good is a sacrifice that costs me nothing. Lord, help me – Teach me what You might be asking for. Teach me to give of myself or anything else to be obedient unto You. Lord, teach me to what sacrifice really means. Does it scare me? Yes, just a bit – ok, a lot! Lord, I know You are safe and faithful and certainly trustworthy. May I listen to Your words and respond. May I seek Your face and understand more of You. Lord, may I be willing to release the clenches I have on certain things wiling to give them completely to You. I love you!!
I was suppose to speak in Omaha this Friday, but am unable. Have a family situation that must be checked on. I hate to leave that church in a pickle like that, but I must go. He will provide i know that for sure. I am so excited to go home to Charlotte in June. It will be a really fast trip, but I am so excited to see a few faces. Thank you Lord for the things you are doing in me. Thank you for another beautiful day. I am excited to see what You do today! I love you!
328 – Just Gotta Shout!
May 15, 2007 By 3 Comments
This morning I was in 2 Samuel 22: 1-55. I actually took the time to read it out loud and had “me some church” right in my own living room. Oh Lord Jesus, how wonderfully awesome You are. I feel the need to do some shouting today, but only in praise and adoration of You. I am overwhelmed with Your love this morning and just can not figure out how to love you even more. If there were something that i could do. I am such a list maker and then “crosser offer”. Oh Lord, if a relationship with you were just about crossing things off the list and then continuing on how much easier would be for a person like me. But praise you Lord, You require so much more and want so much more from us. You want relationship and personality and interaction!!!!!!!! Oh Lord, I am just at a loss for words this morning because I am just so overwhelmed with all you have done in my life and all that You promise to do.
I feel like i am in a holding pattern right now. This holding pattern might last for another 2 years or longer, when all my kids are finally in school, but at the same time You are asking me to stay the course. Keep being faithful to meet with You each day and keep pressing forward in looking for all the things You are willing to reveal each day. Oh Lord, I think that is what I like the most about our relationship, but also the least. I love how You wait right to the perfect time to show me a secret of Your love for me, but then sometimes in the waiting I get frustrated. Oh Lord, how many times You must rub your head and think – Oh poor girl, just hold on. I will not let you down. I will not forget about you. I will not disappoint. But remember my ways are not your ways nor are your thoughts my thoughts! Jesus, thank you for your patience. Thank you for your mercy and your grace. Thank you for not giving up on me.
“The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not done evil by turning from my God.” 2 Sam. 22:21-22
I love that verse especially coming from David – the Bathsheba man. At first when I read verse 22 I was like what – David had kept the ways of the Lord??? He had not done evil by turning from the Lord???????? What – now how could that be said. It says that David had not done evil by TURNING FROM THE LORD. It is not saying he never sinned – it is saying that even in his sin he never left the Lord. He never turned his back in such a way as to say – I quit, I will not walk with Him anymore. He sinned, sure we know all about that, but David always repented and turned back – just took longer than other times! It is a little concerning about the first part of that verse. “He has rewarded me according to the cleanness of my hands.” Yikes!
Lord, you have given me the opportunity to speak tonight to a church on the edge of town. I will be speaking on a Balanced Lifestyle. I am excited – this is a very sweet church with lots of great women I long to know better. Lord, I pray the day goes smoothly so that I can prepare the way I need to – even more. Below is something I found earlier and just loved it. Hope you enjoy as well. Valarie – you will love it!!
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