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Taking a Bully Out…A Christian Mother’s Dilemma

By Cheri Douglas

My son Matt was the sweetest kid. He was a gentle soul who was kind to everyone and spent time in heady pursuits that fascinated him.  It wasn’t at all unusual to walk into his room and find him reading an Encyclopedia…long before the internet was available. He discovered a whole world came to life in those books. When he wasn’t reading, he was playing video games. Developing people skills didn’t occur to him, or to me, until a local bully began to target him after school.

At 9 years old, Matt was larger than most kids, a tall and lanky boy. But he was easily intimidated by obnoxious behavior, because he had no tendencies or skills in that direction. So when I started to notice he was especially quiet and troubled, it took a while to get him to tell me of this kid, Michael, who was harassing him and calling him names after school.  I was so appalled that someone would do that to my son!

I search my soul and prayed for what a wise Christian mother could do. I had raised him to “not hit” people, and now I wanted to tell him to punch the kid out!! I could go to the parents or principal, but that might make the situation worse when no adults were around. I wanted my son to learn something, but I wasn’t up for ,”just turn the other cheek”.  This was my first born!… My precious flesh of my flesh! Surely the Lord didn’t want him to be abused??

While I was still stuck for an answer, Matt came home the next afternoon crying and dirty. This time it was physical, Michael had knocked him off his bike and then threw his books in the dirt in front of a group of laughing jeering onlookers. I am sure what I did next came directly from the Lord, because I had no way of knowing how well it was going to work. And, it was anything but the normal reaction.

I looked at Matt and said, ”OK. If we want someone to be a friend, we have to make him a friend. Let’s go invite Michael to go ice-skating with us! Matt looked at me with a quizzical expression and said, ”Uh,OK”. So, we dropped everything, grabbed his sister and ice skates and jumped in the car. We had been ice skating at a local rink a lot and Matt and his sister had gotten to be pretty good little skaters. However, in Sacramento, where it rarely freezes, there are not a lot of ice skaters.

Matt directed me to Michaels house and when we pulled up he was playing in his driveway. He took one look at me pulling up to his house and, “OH @*##! “ expletives were on his face, as he dropped everything and ran in the house. In just seconds, his mother was coming out into the driveway with Michael hiding behind her for cover. A stiff .”Hello”, from her told me she had experienced parents coming over to talk with her before.

Matt and I got out of the car and walked up to her, I smiled and introduced myself. Then I said, Michael and Matt are in the same class and Matt would like to get to know him better and wondered if he could go ice skating with us. Michael quickly interjected that he couldn’t skate. I quickly assured him that Matt would be happy to help him. By this time a big grin had broken across Matt’s face and he nodded affirmative that he would “LOVE” to help Michael skate. To that Michael’s Mom shifted from pure shock to a slight smile herself.  She approved and said Michael would enjoy that. So the leery Michael got into the car of the one he had been abusing just 2 hours earlier.

When we got to the rink and got skates on everyone I witnessed the incredible power shift as Michael stepped onto the ice looking like a leggy baby colt trying to take it’d first steps. He wavered and fell all over the place hanging onto Matt for dear life. Every now and then he would break away as though he knew what he was doing, only to fall and have Matt picking him up again.  It was perfect! I felt brilliant, but truth be told I didn’t have a clue where I got this idea, except for the gentle whispered answer from the Lord form a brokenhearted mother’s prayer.

We had pizza on the way home. That was the last day Matt was ever bullied by Michael. As it turns out, Matt was the only kid who had ever befriended Michael. They weren’t to become close. But Michael had a new-found respect for Matt, and Matt a new confidence in himself.

As I saw that confidence grow, I switched from ice-skating lessons to karate. Matt never did fight anyone, but he became the scariest dude around for how fast he could jump into the karate stance and scream the “watch out” yell at the top of his lungs. He loved the shock value and the drama. We often laugh that the other bullies just weren’t sure they wanted to take on this ice-skating screamer. They couldn’t predict what he might do! He might be crazy!

I don’t tell this story because I think this is just what everyone should do to stop a bully.  But I do believe God will guide  prayerful mothers to have the wisdom when needed to find the right solution and do some ministry at the same time. Michael came to church with us a few times and asked good questions about Jesus. He was shot to death at age 19 in a firefight with police. I am happy we have this memory of him and consciences that the Lord can bless.

@CheriDouglas

ARTIST, WRITER, SPEAKER, COACH I thank God for the blessings of each new day. Join me daily for morning devotions and prayer on Twitter and Facebook

The Left Coast · http://PollyannaArt.com

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Connect with Kelli:
Over the top cheerleader for Jesus, hubby, two kids and all things Kingdom. Current roles: Christ Community Church Serve Minister; speaker, writer, blogger.
Blog: http://kelliwommack.blogspot.comFacebook : http://facebook.com/kelliwommack.ministrypage
Twitter: http://twitter.com/KelliWommack

During my Bible reading this morning, I was struck with a couple of sentences in the book of Acts. Paul and Barnabus are doing their thing:  preaching the Word of God to everyone they meet. This particular part of their story places them in Pisidian Antioch, a town with both Jews and Gentiles.

Though initially asked by the Jews to speak at the synagogue, the Jewish leaders had become very jealous of Paul and Barnabus and their popularity.  You and I both know that their ability to attract and influence came from Jesus, of whom they preached. However, the Jewish leaders didn’t see it that way. They determined to have the two men, Paul and Barnabus persecuted and driven out of their town.

What I want you to see and hear and think about is the reaction by Paul and Barnabus:

“Paul and Barnabus shrugged their shoulders and went on to the next town, Iconium, brimming with joy and the Holy Spirit, two happy disciples.” (Acts 13: 51 – 52, Message)

As I read these verses, I had to go back and read them again. Surely I had misunderstood. After these guys were doing what God had called them to do, they got beat up for it, driven out of town, and they were brimming with joy?

I would have been brimming with something, but it wouldn’t have been joy and the Holy Spirit.

So, how do we react to jealousy, persecution, and opposition? I don’t know about you, but I get angry. I cry. I avoid. I run. I give up.

We must be confident in our calling and in the One who calls us. When people come against us, we need to be able to shake the dust off of our feet and move on to the next place in our journey.  We need to be so full of joy and the Holy Spirit that it spills out of us…we are actually brimming with it.

You see, Paul and Barnabus did not REACT to their situation, they REJOICED. May we be so bold.

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Please enjoy this devotion from Jonathan Pearson!  He lives near a place that has a Zakby’s.  ha ha    Jonathan can be found on Twitter!!  Or at www.jonathanpearson.com 

 
About 6 months before my wedding day, I looked in the mirror one day and decided that I needed to lose a few pounds before my big day. My thinking was the my wife deserved me looking my best for the big day.
So, I did what most people would do. I went to our local Target, bought workout clothes and joined the local gym. I was determined to start the next Monday.
I never worked out.
Every time I thought about actually going to the gym, I somehow found a way to convince myself I didn’t need to.
A lot of people are the same way in their relationship with Jesus.
Sure, we see that we have some growing to do, but we’re unwilling to do it.
And so, what happens?
We convince ourselves that we’re ok…
We’re okay because we’ve ‘always been a christian.’
We’re okay because we ‘go to church.’
We’re okay because we say a prayer with our kids before we put them to bed.
We’re okay because we don’t cuss (much
But the fact is, if we’re going to get to the point God desires us to get to (and we really want to get to ourselves), we’re going to have to put in the work, the time, and the investment.
Any relationship takes time.
So, what makes us think that we can get where we want to be with Jesus by cutting corners if we can’t get anywhere else by doing the same?
Don’t try it.
Jesus’ love is too strong.
Jesus’ gift is too costly.
The potential is too great.
For us to cut corners.

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I know you will love the words so honestly spoken by Alene!!!  I love that about her!!  Honest and to the point!!!  Beautiful!!  Enjoy!

When the Past Begins to Make Sense

Have you ever visited someone in jail? Oh, I never had until a few years ago. I remember well that first experience of visiting someone behind bars. You can read about how scared and argumentative I was HERE at Whatever You Do.

Me acting like a two-year old before God was not a pretty sight back then, but what I didn’t understand at the time was how God was slowly preparing me for the journey I was fixing to take. You see, over the course of the last few years God has totally wrecked my heart for the imprisoned, homeless and abused. My heart skips a beat at any thought that I might be able to minister to these.

Attending a church in the inner-city does provide opportunity to minister to the broken, but what I didn’t realize when the opportunity came for me to be able to teach a women’s Bible study was just how I would doubt myself and feel so unprepared.

More than anything  . . .

I wanted to connect to the women.

I wanted them to sense God’s love.

I wanted my life story to resonate with them.

I wanted them to experience life change.

I felt God leading me to teach Dirty Laundry Secrets ~ a Journey to Meet the Launderer, a study I had written a few years prior.

After beginning the study, I realized just why God had put that blueprint on my heart years before. He knew the women I’d soon be teaching one day would feel dirty, abused, and unworthy. God knew all along where that study would go and the lives it would change.

And the story of Dirty Laundry Secrets and my visits to the jail continue. This month a door has opened for me to begin ministering to women in jail on Sunday mornings. As I prepare, I’m nervous, anxious, and expectant all at the same time. I know from the past that God has prepared me for this moment.

I’m not sure if you’ve ever entered a prison but from years of seconding guessing my self-worth and inadequacies, I know you can live in a personal prison that is just as confining. If that is you and you are ready to be free and break out, I highly encourage you to read Dirty Laundry Secrets. You will soon see your past washed away and how worthy you are.

It is then, and only then that your past will begin to make sense.

Alene is a speaker, author, and teacher. You can connect with her on her blog, facebook and twitter.

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Just looking into Patti’s eyes you can see the love of Christ!!!  What an incredible gal and beautiful heart for the Lord!!!  I pray I can exude Christ the way I even see it in her eyes some day!!!  Read on and see how HE speaks thru her!!!

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

Like a whisper in my soul, I heard these words. His voice.  Before my eyes opened and my head cleared, my heart was receptive.

New Year’s Day. The first day of 2012. I had gone to bed thinking about the year that had passed. It was a challenging one, filled with unexpected trials and unplanned events. One that left me no choice but to draw on faith and hope in the One who covers me with His love.

Early on in 2011, it became clear that my “word of the year” was “Believe.” It began with a random conversation on a plane and carried through every event and life change I faced during the year. Some days, all I could do was choose to “believe” because circumstances spoke otherwise. If I dove into those circumstances, I might drown in fear and sorrow. But, clinging to my “word,” and more importantly, my faith, somehow He got me through every obstacle I encountered. He provided in ways only He could. He pruned areas of life that needed pruning. He spoke into my heart that He was with me.

And this year, on January 1, He woke me up with the gentle nudge of a promise. “Seek.” Seek Me. Those words settled into my mind as I slowly gained consciousness that morning. As I sat there, pondering the words, I knew this was my direction, my path, my “word” for 2012.

As I thought about the verse, I decided to look it up in different translations. The Message version grabbed my attention:

When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. “Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree. “I’ll turn things around for you. I’ll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you”—God’s Decree—”bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it. ~Jeremiah 29:13-14

When you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed. Wow. What power in those words!

My charge for the year? Get serious. Seek. Seek with all my heart. Ask Him every day to guide me, lead me, help me to seek Him in all I do.

What is yours?

Patti Hazlett is a writer whose blog devotionals have struck a chord with her readers. Her ability to look at life through what she calls her “Jesus filter” has taught many life lessons and practical Biblical application. A later-in-life Christian, she struggled for years to connect the dots between her life and a life as someone who was saved. Her journey took a radical turn after a cancer scare and a heartfelt, honest cry out to God to use her for more than the life she was living. Today, she approaches every day with the prayer to maximize each moment for His glory.

website:

http://forsuchatimeasthis-phzlt.blogspot.com

twitter:

@pattihazlett

Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/For-Such-A-Time-As-This/207955252565141

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Since I began talking I’ve been known for my big mouth.

As a young child all I did was talk. Talk. Talk. Talk.

I’d talk to my family, friends and complete strangers, basically whoever would listen to me! Maybe talking isn’t horrible, but it quickly became apparent that my favorite subject to discuss was myself. What can I say? I think I’m pretty awesome [insert laugh track here]….that and extremely vain!

My parents tried to quiet my by throwing books at me to read in hopes of shutting me up. It worked, sort of. What happened was the more I read, the greater my vocabulary became. I no longer was just talking; I was now using enormous verbiage while running my mouth nonstop!

As I hit adolescence I began to be known for my lack of filtering. What is filtering? You know, the concept of thinking about what you say before it explodes out of your mouth!? I lack that. Honestly, I don’t do it on purpose – though many of my family and friends may beg to differ – but instead of filtering before, verbal vomit comes spewing out of my mouth.

At about 12 years old, I began to journal. It was a great way for me to write down what I did that day and document exciting (and boring) days of my life. I journaled almost religiously through my teenage years and into my early 20’s. I now have volumes of journals, which I pull out occasionally and enjoy reading and reliving the events of my past.

In 2008 I decided to start a blog. I started my blog on my MySpace page (remember MySpace?) and began to transition from my physical journal to an online blog. For the first several months, I tried really hard to continue writing in my journal, but it quickly became apparent that (1) I didn’t have that much time and (2) I was re-writing what I had just typed on my blog. Not long after I started my blog, I stopped journaling.

I lasted on MySpace about five months before making the switch to Blogger. It was when I started my blogger blog, did I need to come up with a name.

“Cori’s Big Mouth” wasn’t my first choice for the name of my blog. Remember how I said I was slightly vain? I wanted my blog name to be It’s All About Me, or Me, Me, Me. (I warned you!) Sadly, all those variations were taken. Apparently there are other vain people in the world! It took me awhile to come up with the right name, but suddenly it hit me – Cori’s Big Mouth. Everyone I know is always saying “your big mouth is going to get you in trouble” or “it’s thanks to your big mouth that you didn’t get in trouble.” My big mouth was already famous within my friends and family; why not make it my blog name? It was that day that Cori’s Big Mouth debuted!

My mouth has gotten me in trouble many times. Once I start talking I cannot stop and tend to (not filter) tell people what I think. However, it has also helped me in various scenarios.

I can just about talk my way out of anything. As a child, I would talk my way out punishments. I would get to talking and talk my parents into circles. It wasn’t long before they either forgot about the punishment or ended it because the punishment was hurting them …. not me!

I also tend to have impeccable timing when it comes to talking. While my dad and sister have impeccable timing when it comes to jokes, I use my mouth to jump into any conversation and add my input.

My big mouth has also helped me feel confident in front of groups of people. (I’m weird….I enjoy public speaking). It also allows me to stand-up to people and protect myself and loved ones. I am not shy and am willing to stick-up for those I love.

Finally, my big mouth helps me have LOTS and LOTS of fun posts to share. While I blog primarily for myself and family, to document different events in our lives, but I also love to share the silly stories that encompass my life and my big mouth!

You’ll have to stop by my blog and see what shenanigans my big mouth gets me in (and out of)!

Blog: Cori’s Big Mouth

Twitter: @corisbigmouth

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• Wounded but healed
  By Lisa Buffaloe

  Friends, family, and acquaintances share their stories and prayer requests. Illness, disasters, and the cruelty of what man does to man sends chills down my spine. My heart aches as though it will burst from my chest for the pain others must endure. I don’t have the answers, and in my humanity I can’t fully understand.

  But I do know God cares. I know He has the answers and solutions. I know He hears our cries. I know justice will be served. I’m living proof of God’s goodness—His sufficiency to endure, conquer, and live a full, joyous life through Him. I’m not alone. There are so many others who have been wounded terribly by life and now stand firm and safe in the love and protection of their Savior.

  God takes the broken places and makes them whole. He heals, sustains, helps, and saves. His goodness, mercy, grace, justice, and tender love are waiting. No matter what you are going through, God is with you, will help you, and bring you safely home.

  “My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—from violent men you save me. Surely God is my help; the Lord is the one who sustains me. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (2 Samuel 22:3, Psalm 54:4, Psalm 73:26).

  www.lisabuffaloe.com

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  lisabuffaloe.com

  Check out http://lisabuffaloe.com/! Official Website of Christian author

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Please meet my friend Dionna Sanchez.  What a beautiful girl!!  Full of joy and such a fun time!!!  I hope to meet in person some day SOON!!!

Passionate about faith & family. Spilling my heart out for you through the words I write. Always looking for freelance opportunities to inspire others.

Idaho · http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com

How Much of What We Do is Motivated by Peer Pressure?

I was thinking this thought one morning…the thought of how much we do in life that is really for us because WE want to do it, and how much we do because we are motivated by what others will think or by what others are doing.

In a nutshell: how much of what we do is from peer pressure?

I remember when I was younger and I thought that peer pressure mainly centered around teens. But I was wrong. Peer pressure exists in all stages and walks of life.  And if you’re ready to raise your hand and say that you don’t personally deal with it in your life…let’s take a closer look.

*How many of us focus on the appearance of our homes in order to maintain a certain “standard” that is pleasing to guests? How many of us don’t have guests over at all because we think our homes aren’t nice or fancy enough?

*How many of us enroll our kids in camps or clubs because “everyone is going” or we are told that in order for them to maintain a certain level of play that they have to invest in this camp or club?

*How many of us shop at certain stores or wear certain brands because that radiates a certain acceptable image in society?

*How many of us rush out to see the latest movie because we know everyone will be talking about it and we don’t want to have to say, “I haven’t seen it?”

Those are just a few examples. There are hundreds more. Whether we like it or not, we are affected by society and those around us. We eat, dress, listen, see, and make choices in our lives because of peer pressure.
That’s why it’s so important who we surround ourselves with. It’s important to know what we feel and think so that we aren’t easily influenced by others who may not be as confident in knowing what they want for their life.
Just because “everyone is doing it” or “everyone is seeing it” or “everyone is wearing it” doesn’t mean that it’s a wise choice or decision.  People are flocking to things in the quest to be viewed as worthy. Yet we forget that it is not other people that have the right to give us worth. Only God does that.

We sacrifice a piece of ourselves when we allow ourselves to be so easily influenced by mainstream standards. We lose a little bit of our individuality and a lot of times a great deal of our morals and values.
Peer pressure isn’t always obvious. A lot of times it’s very subtle. It’s in that flyer that comes home from school requesting that everyone contribute to a certain fund or cause or it’s in the event held at your church or school that everyone “Should” be attending. Peer pressure is obligation despite not wanting to participate.

Those of us who find the courage to do what’s different or say “no” to what everyone else is doing may be shocking to a lot of people. Not everything is a bad cause or endeavor. But that still doesn’t mean it’s best for our family or fits in with our time constraints and personalities.   But it’s in our right to choose and we need to remember we have that freedom – that ability.
When we can do it, it feels so good. So welcomed.

The thing is – even though others may give you a hard time about it, there will be even others who respect you for your stand against the flow of the tide. And those people will follow your example; learning to find their own voice again too.  Then we will all start learning again that it’s okay to not join that club. It’s ok to not have THAT house, it’s okay to be the last one to see the movie or to not even see it at all. You’re not a loser. You’re not unworthy. You’re just You. Beautiful in all your uniqueness and more confident for not falling prey to the pressures of the masses.
Try it. Reclaim your voice. It’s not as painful as you think it will be.