Is HE worth it?? An honest talk from my heart~

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I met her at the coffee shop.  She was a sweet, sweet young girl that had fallen away in her walk with the Lord.  My Jesus still held her in the palm of His hands, but she was just denying His power and ability to change things for her.   It was a sad situation because she knew – she knew what was right and what was wrong and was just choosing to go her own way at this time!

My dad had just had his stroke only months before our encounter.  I was still in a whirlwind about all that thinking how could this have ever happened to MY dad.  I was questioning a lot of things and really having many “come to Jesus” moments in my own faith.  I was not questioning if Jesus was real or if He had stepped off His throne for a minute when this happened to Dad or anything like that – I was just questioing – Do I really know You???  I know YOU know me, but do I know YOU?

Waiting for my friend to show up was quite nerve wracking.  I knew what I was given to say, but how would I ever give the message without falling apart.  I was on such an emotional rollercoaster at this time with my Dad’s situation that I hardly could even think about it without getting all choked up.  Right on time, she came in and sat down.

Small talk was on the agenda before I could not hold out anymore.  I finally reached across the table to beg my friend to come back to what she knows is right.  I begged her to live for Jesus again.  I could not understand her falling away and just complete refusal to not walk with Him.  It was definitely bigger than I had experienced.  But the purpose in my “speech” was different this time!

I wanted to tell her what I believe the church has taught me – When you walk with Jesus things will go better.  When you walk with Jesus things will fall into place.  When you walk with Jesus your troubles will be much, much less.  So go back to Jesus and things will be rosey.  OK, maybe the church had not taught me that, but somewhere along the way I think this is what we are hearing as believers and nonbelievers.

This is what I wanted to say to her to convince her to come back to Jesus, but I knew this was not the message I had been given nor was it the truth!

With tears streaming down my face I begged my friend to come back to Jesus not because things would get back to perfect and she would be blessed immensely, but because HE IS!  I was very honest with my friend and said that just because you come back to a right relationship with Him things may not get better.  In fact, very likely things would get worse.  The heat would be turned up very possibly and living for Him would not be easy.

I had to be honest, I could not sugarcoat the truth.

As another friend spoke so bravely to me last night in her situation, these pits we find ourselves in – self-induced or through His discipline or just a product of a fallen world – are opportunities to live this faith out.  It is an opportunity for it to be real.  It is an opportunity to know Jesus in a way that many and most believers will never experience.  It really is an opportunity to shine even though the light seems so far away.  It an opportunity to do this thing!

Living for Him can be very, very difficult.  It will not always be cupcakes and precious Bible studies.  Living for Jesus will not always mean special prayer times and hugs from the nice, pretty people.  No, living for Him in a real and honest way will be war.  It will be ugly and there will be lots of mess ups.  It will not be fair and certainly not all fun at times.

But the truth that I know and the truth I conveyed to my friend was HE is worth it.  He is worth the pain.  He is worth the hurt.  He is worth the confusion, misunderstandings, and unfairness in life.  He is worth the tragedy, He is worth the sickness, He is worth the attack.  He is worth the rejection and worth the affliction.  He is worth it because He is worthy!!

One major maturation I have seen in my own faith over the years is that I no longer seek to understand.  I do feel the freedom to respectfully question things, but with the knowledge that HE is God and there may never be an explanation given or understanding to a situation.  Coming painfully aware of my own sin (a request that I asked of Him) has made me appreciate His sacrifice and love for me…..and you!  I try not to put God in a box and expect Him to preform and run things the way I expect.  I get better everyday accepting the hand I have been dealt all with the understanding that I may not understand!

I’m not saying I live a negative or doom and gloom kind of life, but it is real.  I love my Jesus, I know He loves me, and I know I need Him.  I know He is not a genie in a bottle that just grants my wishes.  I know a life lived for Him will not always be fun – I like fun!  I know He is worth whatever He allows my way and if I keep my head up or at least my heart towards His, it will be worth it all!

It’s all an opportunity – not so much for me to shine for Him, but for me to know Him!!  And He is worth it!